Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Love the One You're With

I just finished reading Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin...for the second time. It's funny how your views change when times passes. Maybe my thoughts and opinions changed because i'm getting older, or maybe it's life experiences. In a very short summery, the book is about a woman that has to pick between an old love and her husband. Both men make her feel two different ways, like two different people. She loves both, deeply loves both, but the question is, what life does she love more? So my question for all of you is this, do you think you can be in love with two different people at the very same moment? Has it ever happened to you? Her first love abandoned her, left her heartbroken. When you are left heartbroken you feel like you are left with nothing. It has happened to the best of us. But just say you get the chance to "rekindle" things with the former love of your life..would you? Or, would you already know you were better off with that person that loves you enough to stay with you, not only through the relationships hard times, but your personal hard times. If your spouse went to go see their former love of their life would that be the last straw for you? When I read the book the first time a few years ago I totally agreed with Ellen, go after what the heart wants. Go after that past love of your life. The heart wants want the heart wants. But reading it this time around I have a totally different mindset. The heart may want what the heart wants. You may need closure that you never got. Or maybe your wondering if the life you chose is actually the life for you. So this time around I was wanting her to be 100% loyal to her husband. He was a good man and never did her wrong. BUT maybe if I was in that situation I wouldn't be able to deny seeing the "one that got away". Maybe I would do the same thing. Give the heart what it has been asking for. Maybe, it can make the relationship more strong then it was before. Maybe you just need to figure out for yourself that your life is great. Your relationship is everything you could ever want. Let's get back to reality though, if you flew to go see your ex lover I don't think your current relationship could be fixed with just a kiss and an "i'm sorry". So how about we leave the past in the past and the present where it is. If they will leave you once chances are they will leave you again. And, if they just figured out you are the "one", they truly love you then, well, they don't deserve you anyways. So let's keep our ex lovers in the past where they belong. Always look ahead and cherish the wonderful times you had with that person. But look forward to the times you will be having with that one person that deserves the greatness in you. I know i'm still waiting for that person to sweep me off my feet the way my first love did. Until then I will look forward to the future, and think fondly about the past that I wish to keep in the past.

P.S. If your a lady I totally recommend this book! Actually I recommend all of Emily Giffins books!

P.S.S. If anyone is reading my blog, I would love for you to share your experience if you can relate to this topic!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Eye to Eye

As a single girl I know we are pretty much always aware of when there is a cute boy with in a half mile radius. Or maybe it's just the girls that are boy crazy like me. The longer you are single the higher the radius gets. Sometimes it feels like we will be single forever. And I mean forever.  Then there are some days we lose hope in ever finding a boy again. There is that moment when you are out in a random place and you make that special eye contact with that especially cute boy. It could just be eye contact for those few second. Or you could be in the same place with that person for an hour and constantly be making eye contact with that person. Well what happens when you start thinking ok, I know he is looking at me because he feels the attraction too. But then you start over thinking it (and as a girl I know we do this too). What if we start thinking wait, what if he just keeps looking at me because he knows I keep looking at him and he is weird'ed out by it. And you want so badly for him to come up to you and just hi. I'm not sure if this is a girl thing or a southern thing. But it is not acceptable for the girl to go up to the guy. That is a guys job to peruse the girl. Growing up my mom would not even let me call a boy in the off chance they gave me their number. The boy had to call me. So that same rule of my moms began to be my new rule. I will not call a guy first. So the same rule applies in real life. I will not go up to a guy. I know people say times have changed and it's ok. But to me it's not ok. So then you just have to wait until they come up to you. But what happens when they don't come up to you. You are sitting there waiting for him to come up to you because you know he felt that same attraction that you felt during those 2 seconds you shared together. Then he just walks right out the door and now you will never know what could of been. That random boy sitting there drinking his coffee could have been the love of your life, or someone you have a great relationship with, or maybe it would of never gone past that first date. But you will still wonder what could of been. Now that boy will forever be a stranger and you can wonder if those 2 seconds were anything. Then you start thinking I should of just said something to him. But that is the boys job. But some people think if it was meant to be it will happen. So we just sit here and wait for someone else to walk into our lives. Or maybe they are already in our lives. Regardless that cute boy you saw you will never know his story, and he will never know yours. Sometimes I just wish if a boy feels that same connection he would just come up to me. Because you will never know what could of been until you just go up and try. So needless to say i'm still waiting on my Prince Charming. Or my version on Prince Charming anyways.